Hasta La Vista, Baby!

In about 12 hours we'll be on our way to the airport. I'm currently scurrying around like a crazy lady trying to get everything we might possibly need for the next ten days in suitcases and such. Did I mention our flight LEAVES at 5:35 AM.....

Yes, I said A.M. That means we'll be leaving our house around 4:15 in the morning. Jealous, aren't you?!?! And yes, my kids are going to bed in their clothes tonight...no time to change out of PJ's in the morning!

We arrive in Charlotte a little after 10 tomorrow and get to spend 3 glorious days with my most lovely southern friend, Andi, as well as all of my other fabulous friends from "down south" before heading to the beach in South Carolina on Saturday for a week. Goosey is beyond excited to see her best buddy, Will, and Andi & I are both anxious to see Lulu and her little lady, Kate, in action together. They are both fiercely independent and strong-willed. The last time they were together they were 3 months and 2 weeks old....I'm sure a lot has changed!

When Lu woke up from her nap today I was talking to her about going to Miss Andi's. Lulu loves puppies so she was thrilled when I told her Miss Andi had dogs at her house.

Me: "Lulu, did you know that Will & Kate have puppies?"

Lu: "I have a puppy too!" (We DO NOT have a dog)

Me: "Oh really...where is your puppy?"

Lu: "Upstaiws"

Me: "What is your puppy named?"

Lu: (Big smile) "A doggy is mama...my dog is named Wisa!"

She cracks me up....oh how I love that little girl!

Not sure if I'll be able to post while we're gone, but I promise to enjoy lots of glorious sunshine for all of you!

Ta-ta!!!

MS Part dos

I finished the infusion. (Confused? Read my last post to get all caught up on my medical drama) It really wasn't too bad. Yesterday I did have the luck of meeting a phlebotomist who thought I was a pin cushion she should practice her needle-wielding on, a CNA who needed to go to a mental ward, and my nurse was obsessed with showing me that her brother once modeled with Elle McPherson back in the day. How do I gracefully tell the woman who's giving me meds that I. Don't Care.???? Other than that it was relaxing to just sit and chill each day for a few hours.
I hopped on the scale this morning. Do you all remember that I'm leaving for the beach in less than 48 hours? Well, these good ole' steroids have helped me to gain a whopping 8 pounds in the past 3 days. Are you freaking kidding me? I know it's almost all water, but still! And I still have 14 days of oral steroids. Note to self....pack lots of elastic waistband clothing (a run to Target may be in the making...) I'm going to be the beached whale on the beach!

Anyway, thanks for all of the kind words and prayers. Writing it all down does help me to vent and relieve some of the tension. It feels like I'm getting a big hug from all of my bloggy friends. Hugs back to all of you!

Bad Jokes are No FUN!

Remember way back when when I was concerned about having Multiple Sclerosis? Then the doctor came back & said my MRI looked good, and we all sang the "Hallelujah Chorus"? Well, it was just a joke. I hate jokes that aren't funny, don't you?

The doctor called me a couple of days later to let me know one of his colleagues thought they might have seen a spot on my spine. The doctor then assured me that it was probably just a bad picture, but to be sure he'd like to do another MRI. I went into the next MRI with little concern. It was only a bad picture, right?

Wrong. There is indeed a spot on my spine. A little, teeny, tiny spot, but a spot no less. Hubby & I went in to meet with the doctor, and met the little spot. We asked umpteen million questions, and left knowing very little more than we walked in knowing. The doctor thought it was one of two things - the very beginnings of MS or a spot that was caused by some sort of spinal trauma I experienced at some point in my life. I'm learning that MS is a big waiting game with a lot of unknowns. He decided we'd check to see how things were progressing in July with another MRI, and asked me to call him if my symptoms worsened. I had been feeling pretty good - not a lot of tingling, and when I did get the tingles it was concentrated in my feet and legs.

Fast forward to last Thursday. I was at my monthly Bunco night when all of the sudden my hands and arms started tingling. Bad. I kept it together during the rest of the evening, but came home and sobbed to Hubby. How was this happening again. Sure enough it started up hot and heavy in my legs and feet too. I was waking up several times during the night because my arms were dead. Me being the queen of denial that I am though, tried to ignore the symptoms.
This past Thursday morning I was going to iron a shirt when I got the most intense tingling in my right foot. All of the sudden I noticed I couldn't move my toes. At all. I was sitting there looking at my feet, telling my toes to move and nothing was happening. Thankfully Hubby was sitting right there I saw the whole thing happen. He was all over me, telling me to call the doctor and let him know what was going on as soon as the office opened. Thank God for a supportive husband.

By the time I got a hold of my doctor my legs were feeling like wet noodles. So weak and not very stable. The doctor said it sounds like I might be having an MS flair up, and that they were going to treat it as such. Yesterday I started a steroid infusion where I get steroids intravenously for 2 hours for three days. I went yesterday, and everything went really well. I mean, when else am I forced to sit in a recliner and do nothing for over two hours? And I am feeling better. I feel like I've been sucking on a piece of metal non-stop, but I've had no problems with my arms or hands since the treatment and my legs feel stronger. Since everything tastes horrible, maybe I can loose a few LB's during this - that would be a bonus!

I've been in denial about all of this for a couple of months now. This can't happen to me, right? I'm young, in decent shape, and overall very healthy! I have the most amazing life! The emotional side of this is harder for me to deal with than the physical side. On the outside I try and be all bright, chipper, and cheery, not letting on that I'm freaking out inside. Not wanting anyone else to worry. And then I call Jen or my Mom & freak or melt down to Hubby at night. Kelli might get an email loaded with questions...who knows if she was up for being my MS Mentor. This, my friends, Is. Not. Easy. I especially worry about the girls. When I came home last night my whole arm was ace bandaged and my IV port was still in. Goosey seemed really bothered by this, but I tried to explain that the doctors were just giving Mommy some special shots to help her silly legs. Then I asked if she wanted to go to Cold Stone after dinner. Everything is better with ice cream, right? When she woke up this morning the first thing she wanted to know is how my legs were feeling. She has such a big heart and is a smart cookie who knows something is up. Goosey then let me know that she prayed for me last night and made me a card so I could feel better. Be still my heart.
We leave for a ten day vacation to the beach on Wednesday morning. Three days with my fabulous North Carolina friends followed by a week at an ocean front house outside of Charleston, waves crashing and sand in my toes sounds fabulous. The doc promised he'll have me feeling good for our trip. I think we desperately need to have some down time. Time to enjoy life, each other, and all of the blessings we do have. I need to keep reminding myself....even if I do have MS I will be fine, we will be fine, and I will fight it with everything I have.

Sigh....My Baby's turning into a Little Lady

My Lulu is turning into a little girl right before my eyes. Although she's still itsy bitsy in size, there is no hiding that she's growing up...and I'm not ready for her to be so big so quick.

I can close my eyes and see her as a baby...so sweet and perfect that I wanted to freeze time and just hold her like that forever. Now as I sit here typing, she's sitting at the table like a big girl eating her Life cereal with a spoon, and when I just glanced in at her she said, "Hi Mama...what you dooin???"....so big and independent.

It seems like the second one grows up just a little bit more quickly. Goosey loved Elmo for an eternity. Lulu likes Elmo just fine, but would prefer to play Barbies with the big girls. She already knows the princesses and loves playing dress-up complete with sunglasses, plastic heels and a tiara. She tries so hard to keep up and be big like her sister.

Lately she's been telling jokes (although they don't make always make sense, she's slowly getting it) and playing games with us as a family. She's the master of Hide and Go Seek and can ride her little Radio Flyer bike like a pro around our drive way. Lu can now put on her shoes by herself, and is asking to go potty like a big girl (although I'm too lazy.....maybe after vacation?). Two is on the horizon....yet it seems like just yesterday I was fretting about her turning one!

This morning Goosey was downstairs with Hubby, so I got to have a little extra cuddle time with just Lulu in our bed. She noticed right away that I had my robe on, and told me "Jus a second Mommy - I get my wobe too!". Lu was proud as a peacock in her "big girl" night gown, robe and her pretty pink painted toes. She lovingly threw her arms around my neck, patted me on the back and said...

Lu - Mommy, I love you!

Me - I love you too Lulu! How did you get to be so smart?

Lu - (clear as day) Because (I didn't even know she knew the word because....)

Me - (my eyes are now welling up with tears...) You are such a beautiful girl

Lu - You bootiful too Mommy!

Precious. This time is so, so precious.

Dear Mom...

It's strange how being a mother changes your perspective on your relationship with your own mother. Mom always told me that she loved me and my brothers more than anything in the world. I knew she loved us, but no words could explain the love she felt for us. Little did I know how difficult it was for her to put us on the bus on our first day of school, for her to watch us fall and scrape our knees, or watch us fall in love, and subsequently get our hearts broken for the first time. I never understood why she would cry at times like that. I naively though, "It isn't her that is getting hurt after all".
But then I had Goosey, and now Lulu. I didn't know the indescribable love that you experience when your baby is placed in your arms for the first time. When you become a mother your heart multiplies, and you carry around all of the joy, hurt, and excitement that your child does. Their aches and pains are yours, as are their achievements and dreams. You want to keep them in this protective little bubble, never wanting any one to hurt this person that you love more than you knew was possible.
So thank you, Mom. Thank you for loving me as your daughter; the same amazing, all-encompassing love I now experience with my girls, as do you. Thank you for always being there for me during the good times and the bad. Unconditionally loving me with every ounce of your being no matter what. I am beyond blessed to not only have you as my mom and best friend, but to have learned how to be a mom by watching your loving, nurturing example. My life is what it is because of you and your love. There is no greater compliment that someone telling me I remind them of you. You are my idol, my hero. I'm so very lucky that God picked you to be my mother.
Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to me!

A new fancy-schmancy blog header, complete with two little chick-a-dees (which one should be Goosey & which one should be Lulu?) I'm still working on figuring it all out....maybe by Monday!

Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely mothers out there who let me peak into your fabulous lives. Knowing that others experience the same highs and lows of parenting helps to keep it all in perspective!

Hiding my head...

Last week while Goosey was sick we went to the pediatricians to rule out strep throat. She had a 104 degree fever, vomited all over me after the doctor checked her throat, and screamed like a banshee when they pricked her finger to check her blood. In a moment of desperation I promised both girls Happy Meals if we could get out of the doctor's office in one piece.

Today was Goosey's four year check-up. Her appointment was at 11:30, but the Nurse Practitioner got behind and didn't get into our examination room until 12:15. Both girls were hungry and feeling a little caged in the room, and Goosey was surely remembering that she had just been in that same office last week when she was sick. Our lovely NP tested Goosey's eyes, her weight (75%) and height (60%), and was asking me questions about her development.

NP: "Can Goosey count to 10?"
Goosey then starts counting by 5's to 100 (I'm smiling, trying to hide my pride...)
NP: "Is she starting to recognize some of her letters?"
Goosey: "Look Nurse Gina! I wrote cat, fat, sat and mat over here on the paper. They're all in the same word family." (Wow! I must be a pretty decent Mom! My kid's a freaking genius!)
NP: "Wow! Okay! Looks like she's doing great. What about her diet?"
Me: "She eats a really well-balanced diet. She loves fruit and some veggies. She eats a lot of meat, and prefers whole-grain breads and pastas. Organic yogurt is a favorite snack." (starting to get a little cocky with my great Mommy-ing abilities)
Goosey: "Yeah, and today I want Mommy to take us to McDonald's for lunch. I love chicken nuggets and french fries. Mom, can I have chocolate milk too? Right now they have American Idol toys in the Happy Meals"
(I'm turning red with shame...)
Lulu: "I go to McDonod's and eeeeet da ticken nuggets pweese? And da fwench fwies? Dey good Mommy!".
(I'm now wanting to crawl in a hole....)

And guess what? After I'd promised Goosey that she wouldn't have to get any shots at her 4-year check-up and she ended up having to get TWO, I did drive through McDonald's. Good thing they didn't try to see how much hydrogenated oil was in her little four-year-old body!